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Kids in the backseat cause accidents……accidents in the backseat cause kids
When I die, I want to go like my grandpa: sleeping, not like the people on the back seat: screaming!
Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see
I don’t make typos. I make new words
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific
It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss
One spelling mistake can destroy your life
Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories
Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me

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